The Thin Line Between Letting Go and Complacency

Chill

Well, I just set myself up for a real shit-storm with that title.  I don't know for sure the answer, I have no idea where letting go and complacency meet in an acceptable form.  I get in trouble all of the time for not taking things seriously enough, and have been my entire life.  Am I complacent or am I lazy or was I just born a natural yogi that has "letting go" down pat?

None of the above really.  It is true that as far as being calm, relaxed and about as type D as one can get I'm your gal.  It is not that I don't care about things, I just don't get worked up like many do.  Much to a type A's chagrin.  Friends moving...yes, I am sad...am I going to cry every day and lament...no.  I just don't. Maybe I am lazy.

I like to think I am just great at letting go.  However, that is only certain instances.  I definitely can take a good bit of time going over stupid-shit-I-said-yesterday-syndrome. But for the biggies, I can relax, and take ease in the present.  This reminds me of a story of a monk....

There was a monk that lived up alone in a monastery on a hill and once a girl in the town accused him of fathering her child.  He of course had not, she was just trying to protect the fisherman that was in fact the baby daddy.  Well, her father was furious and took the newborn up to the monastery and left the baby with the monk to raise.  The monk's reaction was "Ah, so"  He took the baby and raised him for nine years.  After nine years the baby's mother was dying and finally revealed the natural father.  Upon hearing that her parents were outraged and raced up the mountain to get the baby.  As the monk opened the door to hand the child to his grandparents he said "Ah, so".  

Whatever challenge was thrown in the face of this monk he accepted it and moved forward with it.  He was so in the moment that nothing could get him down.  That is true un attachment.

The great way not to get to caught up, is to not have preferences.  As based on a teaching from the Third Chinese Patriarch:  "The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences."  Just think about how easy everything would be if you didn't get caught up in what color something was, or having things "just so"  How liberating!  This is one of the reasons I think that I am so laid back.  Of course I do have preferences but they just don't mean that much to me in the grand scheme of things.  I am a lot easier to get along with than someone less flexible in the way they want things.

Blessed are thee that remain flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape!

The Last Best Cure

I just finished a very good book, one of those books that when you are done you are still thinking about for days.  This one was one that I was a little nervous about reading because it was written by a science research journalist.  Meaning, I thought it might be a little over my head.  And, it was. A little, here and there...however, the author sprinkled  in enough personal story and holistic practices that I was brought back time and again.  The more I read, the more engaged I became in the science of all of this "stuff' that I've always believed in, just didn't know why or how it works. So now with words like "Neuroplastic"  and phrases like "Cellular Transformation" and "Mitochondrial Robustness" under my belt I feel much smarter in the ways of why I do what I do.

The book is called The Last Best Cure My Quest to Awaken the Healing Parts of My Brain and Get Back My Body, My Joy, and My Life by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.  It is a journey out of pain and into a more fulfilling life.  The author documents her journey to health with the approach of the researcher she is.  This at times makes it very science oriented and at other times very real and down to earth.  The way she takes each approach individually and works it in to the whole picture is very well laid out.  I love how we get to know each of her teachers and what they have done for her. (I have been listening to pod casts by Tara Brach, PhD ever since)

As she moves from a lifestyle of constant doctors appointments to one full of meditation, yoga and acupuncture we get to see the subtle changes from a personal perspective as well as a medical one.  After learning that childhood trauma shaped her life in more ways than she could ever believe, Donna starts dealing with that first with therapy and slowly moves on to meditation. "The more we utilize the center of our brain that names feelings, the less stressed we feel by them" is one of the important lessons we learn. This was all so fascinating to me...the more you let your inner critic speak, the more what she says becomes truth. "Instead of applying love or kindness to ourselves when we need it, we turn into our worst best friend, the critic in the mirror.  We stop being on our own side."

"Your beliefs become your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words.
Your words become your actions.
Your actions become your habits.
Your habits become your values.
Your values become your destiny."
~Gandhi

I don't want to give to much away, but I really could do a study group chapter to chapter! My husband was making fun of me furiously making notes in the margins and anywhere I could find space. If anyone is interested in a dialogue about anything in this book please comment.  I would love to see what your take on it is!

YOGASMOGA

Have you guys heard of YOGASMOGA yet? I was lucky enough to get to try out some of these goodies and let me tell you, they are great!

I put the Run Jump 'n play crop (carbon 6/India blue) to the test with a full day of cycling, hiit training, jogging, teaching and practicing yoga. They are very cute, slimming and versatile.  The only caveat I saw was that jogging posed a little problem in holding them up, after wearing them half the day I must have loosened them a little.  I would recommend going tight on these.  The sizes are very true to street sizes unlike most yoga clothes that are much smaller. That is fine for light yoga and errands, but for tough workouts I need a snugger than usual fit.  Next time I will order one size smaller than my own.  I was a tiny bit nervous in sizing just because it is so hard with stretchy clothes. Look at the measurements when determining your size!

I also got to put the U & Me bra (boy blue,top middle photo)  through the ringer with lots of activities. I love the color and the style.  Same goes here though with the size, I wish I would have gone a size smaller than my normal just for more support.  The "girls" liked the comfort though, but with jogging, a second bra was added;)  It is perfect for light yoga, walking and hanging out.

YOGASMOGA also offers the Tippy Toe Leggings, Classic Slimmie Pant (in tall and regular), Yantra Tank, Yoga flops by Rider and mats by Kulae (see my Kulae review here). There are a couple of other offerings as well as some Men's things too.  All in all a cool little company with lots of growth potential. Go check out the website and see for yourself. Watch the Breathe video too if you have a couple of minutes, Some good reminders to stop and breathe!

Compliment Diet- Sabotage!

How have you been doing on your Compliment Diet? Have you been watching less TV, talking cleaner to yourself and most important expecting others to talk clean around and to you?

I am addressing the third one on that list today.  It is just like your best friend trying to make you eat cheese cake when she knows you are trying to eat more veggies. A true diet SABOTAGE!

What to do when you are riding on top of the world, feeling good about yourself and someone else decides to bring you down?

Here's what I do...
1. I obsess over it (I really can't believe they just said that...)
2. Decide if the comment is valid or if person is just being rude, jealous, defensive...bla
3. Depending on the answer to number 2, I act accordingly (;) Valid comment...thank                    
 them  for pointing out said problem with me. I'm sure I didn't already know...ha...movs  on.
                                For people just being any thing other than genuine...ignore it. Let it go and move on.
                           
*Easy peasy. MOVE ON people...it's their issue not yours.

There is a Sanskrit saying, "Mana eva manushyanam karanam bandha mokshayoho."  "As the mind, so the man; bondage or liberation are in your own mind."    If you feel bad or bound to one thing, it's your fault for letting it happen. Only you can limit you! Only you can liberate you!

DON'T LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     

A Steady Diet of Self Compliments

Dieting is a billion dollar business and each new year a stream of ready and willing participants sign up for new programs and gyms and crazy equipment.  All of this time and energy (at least initially) spent on trying to get smaller and smaller.  Or at least thinking about loosing a few dress sizes.  What if we refocused that energy to something more positive, something more important? What if instead of the size of our clothes we focused on adding more joy to our lives?

Cutting out whole food groups, fasting on cabbage soup and ingesting toxic chemicals may not be a stretch, but adding more joy may seem like a diet for crazy people.  Imagine what we as a nation as a planet could accomplish if we just addressed some of the main reasons for our mass depression, our mass unhappiness?  We are conditioned to hate our selves! The media is making us think something is wrong if our hair isn't a shiny color, if our butts don't look like a twelve-year-old.  This is starting to toxify our society one person at a time.  Self-hate is a major unspoken epidemic and there is no cure but to consume, to buy a multitude of products and surgery. This is bullshit.

If this sounds like you, you are ready for a cleanse! A detox of giant proportions is in order and the first thing  in order is to kill your TV! I am talking about KILL it! The commercials are poisoning you! Physically move yourself from the couch and get away while you can! It's hard, I know, but there are chores, books and bubble baths waiting on the other side.  Not just the commercials though my friends, the shows are pure toxic as well.  Do you find yourself trying to keep up with some HOUSEWIVES from somewhere else?? A sure fire sign you are on a downward spiral!

Okay, so I am sounding extreme.  At the very least you could DVR your shows, cut out all commercials and maybe start to wean yourself off of any programs that have you questioning your house, looks or person in general.
,
Next step, change how you talk to yourself.  This is a biggie! Do you ever notice that you say things to/about yourself that you would NEVER utter to another living soul?  Do you grab places on your body and talk down to them? That's a sure sign you need an injection of positivity, a cleanse of gross thoughts about your own body. The very thing that gets you around each day! Have you not been able to take a compliment? When people say nice things to you do you deflect them, or repute with a negative comment about yourself? The classic, "Well thanks, but after these last 5 lbs I'll even feel better..."

One last thing, has this started to spread?  Has your negativity started to spread out of just your own person? Are you starting to do this in front of friends, family or god- for -bid your kids?  If so, this is the last and sure fire sign you need help, and you need it NOW!

So you are all asking how, how do I help myself? All of the above sounds like me! It's simple.  Instead of dieting on cabbage (you can still eat it peeps, I promise;)....You need to put yourself on an immediate diet of compliments.  You need to start seeing the bright side of things.  You need to suck up all these negative comments you normally say to yourself and change them.  First thing in the morning you need to remind yourself how lucky you are just to WAKE up!

The break-down, the DIET....

1. Kill your TV, or if your not into extreme dieting at least start to slowly wean yourself from negative images  including but not limited to TV, Celeb magazines, and disturbing Internet images.

2. Talk Clean to Yourself.  Stop the dirty talk, stop telling yourself that you are not good enough.  Stop buying crap off the TV that tells you it will make you better.  You are already good enough, and you have all the tools inside to deal.  EVERYTHING YOU NEED, YOU ALREADY HAVE!  It is all there, in your heart.  

3. Talk Clean to Others.  Speak highly of yourself to others, show them that you are good enough and they will listen.  Show your friends how highly you think of yourself and they will believe you.  Show your kids how to treat themselves by leading them with good examples.  How will they ever be self-confident and positive if you are not?  Don't allow negative speak from others...Tell them you live in a positive zone, and you don't want to surround yourself with any toxicity.  They will start to notice how they dirty talk themselves and will start to slowly change their vocabulary as well.

That's it. 3 steps to living lighter.  You should start to feel lighter in minutes....easiest diet EVER!

A couple of tips...

Find some inspirational quotes and post them around the house

Do deep Yogic Breathing and Meditate a couple of minutes throughout the day

Catch yourself, if you internally start to whine to yourself catch it, change it and move on.

Pamper yourself, you are worth it! Bubble baths, massage, walks out side, hot tea...




Some Motivation from The Teachings of Abraham Well Being Cards...

There is an abundance of everything (Shortage is only a perception)

It is not my responsibility to convince anyone of anything

I choose to be here in this glorious physical body (To be this me has been my choice)

I want to feel GOOD

Whatever abundance I seek is mine. 

Well being is my natural state of being

I choose my unique path to joy

Before you try another pill, diet or anything from an informercial, try these steps to a more joyful life.  Try to fix yourself from the inside.  You do have all the tools inside of you, they are there and ready to be used.  You are GOOD ENOUGH!










*As with any advice, I am not a medical doctor so what do I really know?

May I Be Happy, a book review

May I Be Happy A Memoir of Love, Yoga, and Changing My Mind by Cindi Lee is a delight of a read. This is truly one of those books that I did not want to put down and was sad to finish. Truthfully, the reason I love this book is because of Ms.Lee's candor.  Courageous is the word that comes to mind, the pure bravery of being able to really put herself out there.  It had to be very hard to write a book about one's serious issues.  Especially one in such high standing, a yoga teacher at that! Yoga Teachers aren't supposed to have problems! I can't even write that without laughing a little inside. The pedestal that we put our teachers up on just gives them a longer way to fall.  Historically it happens all of the time. Examples not even necessary.

As a women, I can relate to Ms. Lee's body issues and really relate to her constant self questioning and inquiry.  It is an on going journey this journey to self acceptance and love and I really enjoyed experiencing it with her.  If not just for the pleasure of knowing that it's not just me...

"But, in the end, that just became another kind of craving. Because righteous and clean is not a balanced way to be, any more than feeling guilty and dirty." Bingo! All about finding that balance and letting go of high expectations as well as letting go of guilty feelings.  "Stability doesn't come from holding on to extremes.  It comes from riding the waves, not holding the water.  The very word balance comes from the Latin word balare, which means "to dance".

"Yoga, like meditation, offers a method for coming together after you've come apart."  One of my favorite passages, one that I can visualize as with the sutras, the strings of yoga webbing together and making a nice neat safety hammock to embrace you.  The whole idea that yoga is not something that you can ever be finished with, can never master.  "The whole point is that you maintain commitment to the process, stay open to the changes that arise and pass, and most important, always take a friendly approach to your experience on the mat."

The book is full of amazing passages, great insights and interviews with inspiring women.  Christiane Northrup, Jamie Lee Curtis and Louise Hay all provide lots of A Ha moments!

Follow along with Ms.Lee's journey toward self-love and acceptance and realize that you are okay today. It is okay to be with your own thoughts and all true work is done inside oneself first.  Only then can you start to heal others and then the world.

Happy New Year!

Sounds weird to say 2013 doesn't it?  Each year as we move into a new number to write down on checks (does anyone have those anymore?) or the like, we feel weird changing that number.  It usually takes a week or so to stop writing the old one. Getting used to change is hard, and takes getting used too, but then it just becomes old hat again until the next year.

My own personal intentions for this year are to reset old stubborn habits and learn to deal with them more flexibly.  To wipe clean old patterns and create new adventures in their places.  Not getting stuck in one or two comfortable ruts, but to drive outside of them and find more interesting roads to ride on.

*Putting devices down and being in real-time with my family and friends. This is one that I know most struggle with as we have such fun smart-phones, kindles, tablets, laptops, etc. Over Christmas at any point my parents, kids and myself were all on some sort of device (much to my husbands chagrin).  Most of the time playing each other in games! I had to pull out the actual cardboard Monopoly and Clue and get us at the same table together. So much more fun!

*Starting to explore more new classes, teachers and varieties of ways to get the heart pumping.  I live in a great yoga city and I really want to take more time this year exploring it! Last year was really spent in nesting mode with new baby so I only attended a couple of classes.  This year I want to get out and really try some new things. I also want to try out some new DVDs that I've been hoarding away and will review them as well.  I also have a new spin bike and am creating a garage gym that I am excited to start using.  My love of short HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) started over at Body Rock and has progressed to so much more. I am loving making up my own routines and am hoping to share in the future.

*Adventuring more with the kids.  This is actually not a hard one for me because I love to find new fun things for the kids around the area.  However this year I want to branch out to small road trips to fun cities around us like Savannah, Hilton Head and Beaufort. Just for day trips and educational jaunts.  I also have a goal to take them to local historical sites that can only be done this time of year...just to damn hot in the Summer!

Notice not once did I say I'm wanting to eat better, workout more or get into those jeans from Middle School...

Finally in a place where those are not even on my radar. Finally I have reached a balance with myself on eating, working out and even buying new damn jeans...lol. While it is important to eat right and exercise and treat yourself well, for the first time I feel I don't have to put that down. Mission Accomplished! I am happy, content and at peace for the first time in my life and it has been a couple years in the making. What a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders to drop all of that and move forward with light and grace.

Whatever your intention or resolutions may be this New Year I wish you the best of luck in finding your own personal peace and happiness.

Love and Namaste,
Mandy